七縱七擒
Captured Seven Times, Released Seven Times
Meaning
To capture seven times and release seven times — winning submission of the heart, not just the body, through patient magnanimity.
Origin story
Before marching north, Zhuge Liang first had to settle the southern tribes’ revolt. His aide Ma Su counseled: "Attacking cities is the lesser way; attacking hearts is the higher one." Zhuge Liang agreed. Capturing the southern leader Meng Huo, he showed him around the camp and set him free instead of executing him. Each time Meng Huo swore he could win a rematch, he was captured and released again — seven times in all. Freed the seventh time, Meng Huo finally submitted from the heart: "You possess the majesty of Heaven; the south will never rebel again." The south stayed loyal, and Zhuge Liang could turn north without fear.
Source: Han Jin Chunqiu (Pei Songzhi’s annotations) and Huayang Guozhi
People
Modern examples
- He kept the star employee not with a counteroffer but by winning her heart — capture-and-release persuasion, seven times patient.
- Instead of punishing the rebellious kid, they waited him out — and won him over for good.